Holy Sh*t!!!

I'm done. It's really here. I've finished 5 years of college. It's awesome, it's sad, it's overwhelming. It's crazy. 5 years ago I was 18. I had never been out of the country, never lived outside of Albany, NY. 5 years later, I've lived in Boston, New York City, and Sydney, AUS. I've worked for Fly92, MTV, CSN, and a thousand other jobs in between with a variety of initials. I've laughed, I've cried, I've had a lot of fun, I've been bored out of my mind. I've met some great people and some not so great people. I've learned some in class, I learned a whole lot more in the real world. I did the one thing I swore I'd never do, I grew up.

A major part of my life just ended. Like that. I burned a DVD and left in on Ron's desk and walked across campus for the last time as an undergraduate. It was fitting that it was a DVD project about Bruce. College began and ended with Bruce. September 6, 2003 I moved into White Hall to start one of my favorite years of college. That night I walked over to Fenway Park and sat outside as Bruce played the first of a two night stand there with the E St Band. Here I met Mike who I've keep in contact with all these years. He even took me to a Bruce show middler year at the Orpheum, my first. I remember Fenway like it was yesterday. Some homeless guy offered two girls with us tickets bc 'sorry boys, they have boobs'. We thought whatever they can't be real. The tickets that is. So the girls walk off with the tickets. About 20 minutes later they come back.
"Weren't real huh?"
"No they were real Fenway Park is awesome."
That's why I couldn't tell you the name of those girls today. They ruined my chance to see the E St Band that night. They took two legit tickets to Bruce Springsteen and used them to check out Fenway for 20 minutes. After that we stayed for a while then walked home. About halfway through the park we heard them as they started to play Rosalita and I sprinted back in time to hear "Your mama says she knows that I don't have any money". That's how I started my college career. And here I am.

The Glory Days. The things I'll never forget. The things in 20 years I'll be able to call up my friends and say do you remember when...we were orientation leaders for a summer and you all got fired while I was on the cape eating lobster. Remember that time we drove down to Dave Matthews at the Tweeter center and saw him play #34. Remember when camped out at Fenway for Yankees/Sox tickets. Remember when we played two-up on ANZAC day or laughed til we cried and possibly pissed ourselves. Remember that time at Conor's. Why is this so warm? Why are you so bad at quarters?

Water balloon fights at the house, inflatable pools after formal, scavenger hunts, marathon mondays, Stella, Law & Order reruns until 3am, a trip to UConn for Spring weekend, random trips to Montreal, the shark and how it chose to work when it wanted to. Broomball freshmen year, Johnny Applesauce, Elia's buffalo chicken calzones, Little Stevies, and Scorpion Bowls at Tiger Lilly's. Road trips to Newport, Ben Folds, Unwritten Law, Bruce, Bruce, Jonny Lang, The Last Dispatch, Papa Roach, Gin Blossoms, and so many more concerts. Getting told by Matt Nathanson that Halloween colors are always appropriate in February.

There are so many more things that I'm sure people will chime in with, but I have to say through all the ups and downs, the highs and lows, it was a good ride. There is nothing I would change if I could because I did my best and that's all that counts. I learned more about myself than I ever could have hoped. So I took the long way to life. Jay Mohr said it best "leaving a school after four years is like leaving a party at 10pm." You know I never left a party at 10pm in my life.

"Now I think I'm going down to the well tonight
and I'm going to drink till I get my fill
And I hope when I get old I don't sit around thinking about it
but I probably will
Yeah, just sitting back trying to recapture
a little of the glory of, well time slips away
and leaves you with nothing mister but
boring stories of glory days" - Glory Days

"I am but one man in a raging sea, but I'm still afloat. And we're all still here."

So here's to the memories, to the glory days, to the friends that have come and gone and the friends I've yet to meet. To my family who stood behind me and the mentors and faculty who gave me a kick in the ass when I needed it. To the fraternity that taught me commitment and dilligence and leadership skills that I will use forever. And to the 'blood brothers', I swear forever friends.

"Tonight, tonight the strip's just right
I wanna blow 'em off in my first heat
Summer's here and the time is right
For goin' racin' in the street" - Racing In The Streets

RIP Danny Federici

It takes a lot lately me to feel the need to blog. Before I get into the bulk of this post I just want to thank the fam for a great day on Wednesday. It was beautiful out and awesome to get to share Boston with them, even for a short time.

No on to the sad news. Danny 'Phantom' Federici the organist and accordian player of the E Street Band lost his battle with cancer today. I'm deeply saddened by the death of a man I never had the opportunity to know or meet or hear live. I know that I will never have the opportunity to see the real E Street Band with the loss of our friend Danny.

For Danny :
They built the Titanic to be one of a kind,
but many ships have ruled the seas
They built the Eiffel tower to stand alone,
but they could build another, if they pleased
The Taj Mahal, the pyramids of Egypt are unique, I suppose,
but when the built you brother, they broke the mold

The world is filled with many wonders
under the passing sun
But sometimes something comes along
and you know, it's for sure the only one
The Mona Lisa, the David, the Sistine Chapel,
Jesus, Mary and Joe
and when they built you brother, they broke the mold

When they built you brother
they turned this dust to gold
When they built you brother
they broke the mold

They say you can't take it with you
but I think that they're wrong
All I know's I woke up this morning
and something big was gone
Gone in to that dark ether
Where you're still young n' hard and cold
Just like when they built you brother
and broke the mold

Now your death is upon us
And we'll return your ashes to the Earth
And I know you'll take comfort in knowin'
You've been roundly blessed and cursed
But love is a power
Greater than death
Just like the songs and stories told
And when she built you brother
She broke the mold

A bad attitude is a power stronger than death
Alive n' burnin' or stone cold
And when they built you brother ...

Redemption

The screen door slams
Mary's dress waves
Like a vision she dances across the porch
As the radio plays
Roy Orbison singing for the lonely
Hey that's me and I want you only
Don't turn me home again
I just can't face myself alone again
Don't run back inside
darling you know just what I'm here for
So you're scared and you're thinking
That maybe we ain't that young anymore
Show a little faith, there's magic in the night
You ain't a beauty, but hey you're alright
Oh and that's alright with me

You can hide 'neath your covers
And study your pain
Make crosses from your lovers
Throw roses in the rain
Waste your summer praying in vain
For a savior to rise from these streets
Well now I'm no hero
That's understood
All the redemption I can offer, girl
Is beneath this dirty hood
With a chance to make it good somehow
Hey what else can we do now
Except roll down the window
And let the wind blow back your hair
Well the night's busting open
These two lanes will take us anywhere
We got one last chance to make it real
To trade in these wings on some wheels
Climb in back
Heaven's waiting on down the tracks
Oh oh come take my hand
Riding out tonight to case the promised land
Oh oh Thunder Road, oh Thunder Road
oh Thunder Road
Lying out there like a killer in the sun
Hey I know it's late we can make it if we run
Oh Thunder Road, sit tight take hold
Thunder Road

Well I got this guitar
And I learned how to make it talk
And my car's out back
If you're ready to take that long walk
>From your front porch to my front seat
The door's open but the ride it ain't free
And I know you're lonely
For words that I ain't spoken
But tonight we'll be free
All the promises'll be broken
There were ghosts in the eyes
Of all the boys you sent away
They haunt this dusty beach road
In the skeleton frames of burned out Chevrolets

They scream your name at night in the street
Your graduation gown lies in rags at their feet
And in the lonely cool before dawn
You hear their engines roaring on
But when you get to the porch they're gone
On the wind, so Mary climb in
It's a town full of losers
And I'm pulling out of here to win.


-Bruce Springsteen "Thunder Road"

PS Bruce knew how I was feeling tonight, he just opened the show in Anaheim with Thunder Road...Man I love that guy

Disappointment

I really feel like this semester has been great. There have been great times and there were better times. But there has also been a lot of disappointments. As a sidenote I have not heard anything from MTV yet, but I'm not even disappointed in that. If it wasn't meant to be it wasn't meant to be, there are still thousands of opportunities out there. So don't be worried about that.

The recent disappointment has been with my fraternity. The fraternity which I have put a great deal of work and effort into and which I have gotten more out of than perhaps anything else in college has become an insignificant part of my life the past few weeks. I chose not to go to formal this weekend which used to be my favorite event of the year. Tonight we had a our last meeting of the year and my last meeting as an undergraduate. It was an absolute joke. Don't get me wrong I had a few drinks this afternoon with Mikey and I didn't follow dress code (I had my sandals on), but I had to leave. We have a ceremony for graduating seniors and people couldn't even take that seriously. It may seem dumb but I was really looking forward to it. And it was made out to be dumb and unimportant. People were drunk* during the meeting which is not only dumb, but its against so many rules.

Greek week was last week and I couldn't even get excited. Again another high point of my college life has been the Greek Weeks of the past and this one was eh. I mean we won Fraternity of the Year and I couldn't care less. Not because we didn't deserve it as a chapter, but because I think we were too cocky and we settled for less than the best. We didn't dominate. It was real close, it came down to grades and that has nothing to do with our chapter that has to do with the intelligence of our individual members. I've tried so hard to make people want more to always be better and tonight they proved that they don't give a shit about any of it. It was just about having a good time and not about the brotherhood and the bonds that we create when we join. If they are drunk what do they care. Selfish, f*cking selfish.

I guess I expect more of people. Not only more but a lot more. This guy came into my class last night and was talking about working with different artists and how they all have different expectations. I don't remember who he was talking about, but he said that someone in particular was very difficult to work with. Not in a bad way, just difficult because he really expected a lot of himself and also of the people who worked with and for him. This is how I imagine Springsteen to be. He goes out every night and expects himself to put 110% and also expects the entire band to do the same. That's why they are so good at what they do.

I hope to resolve these issues I have with the chapter and to be able to look back in a couple years and remember the good times and not the petty bullsh*t. I want to look back and remember that I was part of a great fraternity not a weak sorority. I want to be proud that I'm a Greek and right now I'm just disappointed.

This weekend marked the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s death and in honor of him I leave you with this quote.

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." -MLK Jr

Audition Video

Here it is. I hate to see myself on film sometimes and if you knew the number of outtakes there were you'd be glad I edited it down to the short clip that this is. I guess I better get used to seeing myself if this goes the way I want it to. Enjoy and keep those fingers crossed.

The April Fools day chaos.

So last night on my way home from Greek Feud (Fraternity/Sorority version of family feud) I stopped and grabbed a sandwich from the bakery around the corner. Really good Roast Beef with crispy onions and horseradish. Take it back to my place crack open a beer and sit back to watch some television. Monday nights are my long night, I have class until 7:30pm, but then I don't have anything on Tuesdays. Okay so I sit down in front of my television take a bite of my sandwich, and out of the corner of my eye I notice something that is out of place. There is a new Wii game case and I'm so excited I drop my sandwich. You need to understand how badly I've been wanting to play Super Smash Bros. and I had almost gone out and bought it myself. Okay so I as I reach for the case I also reach for my phone and before the word Bros is out of my mouth Steve is in a cab on his way over. This game is stellar. I'm not great, but I haven't played in a long time. So Steve and I crack a couple more beers and start playing. Before we realize it we finished what beers I had left and its almost 11pm. So we decide to run to the store to grab some snacks and more beer. We run into Mikey coming in the front door (thank him tremendously for purchasing our latest addiction) and ask him to run us to the liquor store, which he kindly obliged. So we go and grab some more beer and some snacks and head back to the land of Mario, Pikachu, and Snake. Mikey now joins in on the phone and after putting his car up for grabs to the winner of the first game I came off victorious and a proud owner of a new Lexus. Then Steve won the second game and claimed the car. All the time we are continuing to indulge ourselves in some beverages. So we play until about 12:30am before we turn on the late night talk shows. We continue to eat and drink and talk and hang out and then we decide we are still hungry. So what else is there to do at 4:00am than go to South Street Diner. So we scrounge up the cash we can find to get a cab (thanks for the $10 Mom) and head down there where we were the only people in the place. (Which I guess isn't that weird on a Monday night at 4am.) We enjoyed some hot wings, some eggs, some corned beef hash, some uncooked potatoes and Steve had the pancakes or french toast I don't really remember which. We head back to my place where Steve starts to wreck havoc. The restaurant downstairs just yesterday set up the patio fencing. Well after leaning into one Steve realized he could rearrange them pretty easily and quickly made a zig-zag of all of them. Then after I hand him his pillow to crash on the couch he proceeds to kick the bottles on the table creating a domino effect of glass bottles. This was not very quiet at 4:30am. We got up at a relatively normal hour the next morning and Steve was clearly hurting. After a couple of Tylenol and some Dagwood sandwiches we played some more Super Smash Bros and then Greek Week continued.

Tonight's event was Greek Sing where all the chapters put on a 5-7min song and dance routine incorporating everything and everyone in Greek Life. Our guys did an excellent job and came out on top with the NUMBER ONE.

I'm sure there is more going on it's been a crazy week. But I'll write more tomorrow.


Peace