Disappointment

I really feel like this semester has been great. There have been great times and there were better times. But there has also been a lot of disappointments. As a sidenote I have not heard anything from MTV yet, but I'm not even disappointed in that. If it wasn't meant to be it wasn't meant to be, there are still thousands of opportunities out there. So don't be worried about that.

The recent disappointment has been with my fraternity. The fraternity which I have put a great deal of work and effort into and which I have gotten more out of than perhaps anything else in college has become an insignificant part of my life the past few weeks. I chose not to go to formal this weekend which used to be my favorite event of the year. Tonight we had a our last meeting of the year and my last meeting as an undergraduate. It was an absolute joke. Don't get me wrong I had a few drinks this afternoon with Mikey and I didn't follow dress code (I had my sandals on), but I had to leave. We have a ceremony for graduating seniors and people couldn't even take that seriously. It may seem dumb but I was really looking forward to it. And it was made out to be dumb and unimportant. People were drunk* during the meeting which is not only dumb, but its against so many rules.

Greek week was last week and I couldn't even get excited. Again another high point of my college life has been the Greek Weeks of the past and this one was eh. I mean we won Fraternity of the Year and I couldn't care less. Not because we didn't deserve it as a chapter, but because I think we were too cocky and we settled for less than the best. We didn't dominate. It was real close, it came down to grades and that has nothing to do with our chapter that has to do with the intelligence of our individual members. I've tried so hard to make people want more to always be better and tonight they proved that they don't give a shit about any of it. It was just about having a good time and not about the brotherhood and the bonds that we create when we join. If they are drunk what do they care. Selfish, f*cking selfish.

I guess I expect more of people. Not only more but a lot more. This guy came into my class last night and was talking about working with different artists and how they all have different expectations. I don't remember who he was talking about, but he said that someone in particular was very difficult to work with. Not in a bad way, just difficult because he really expected a lot of himself and also of the people who worked with and for him. This is how I imagine Springsteen to be. He goes out every night and expects himself to put 110% and also expects the entire band to do the same. That's why they are so good at what they do.

I hope to resolve these issues I have with the chapter and to be able to look back in a couple years and remember the good times and not the petty bullsh*t. I want to look back and remember that I was part of a great fraternity not a weak sorority. I want to be proud that I'm a Greek and right now I'm just disappointed.

This weekend marked the anniversary of Martin Luther King Jr.'s death and in honor of him I leave you with this quote.

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope." -MLK Jr