Monday, August 4, 2008

I'm wide awake and so alive...

"i guess that's what great art does though...
it puts things into perspective, and at the same time, it kicks out the walls.
it blows your mind...humbles you, and at the same time it lights you up
and makes you feel completely unstoppable." - Matt Nathanson

So the past few hours since my Bruce review something crazy happened. I turned off the TV turned up the tunes and just started focusing on music. New music old music, but actually focusing on it. I have so much that its hard to not listen to one thing over and over. I totally forgot about Matt Nathanson for a while. He's awesome.

But the real reason I'm back so to say is because that I really feel like I'm on the brink of a new chapter in my life. This summer has been fun but I've been caught up in 40 hour weeks at CPK working my tail off to pay bills and debts and not really having fun. Not to say I haven't had any fun, the road trips and baseball games and concerts have been fun, but I come back and think I have to work nonstop to make up for it or to prepare for the next trip.

Tomorrow I have a second interview for MY job at Berklee. The job is my job. As I sit and prepare for the interview tomorrow I realize that this is what I want to be doing. It's what I need to be doing. After the first interview I woke up. I started scanning MySpace and Billboard and Rolling Stone and really getting back into the groove. It took a little effort but it's like riding a bike. My heart is happy. Music makes my mind soar and makes me want to write. I don't know if any of my songs/poems/blogs will ever get me any where but I know of at least one or two people who feel what I feel. I may not be able to write the melodies or the beats but I definitely have the words and the feelings.

So today I pledge to start writing more and I may not share it all here, but I may. And with this job. I really want it. I want to get up every morning like in NY and be excited to go to work. To meet new people and hear new music and see live music everyday. I want to have time and money to go see shows big and small. I want to feel like I did at the end of Ben Folds. To feel like I made a difference and that 1000 people or 200 people were able to enjoy music for a couple hours and discover something they didn't know before. Something about music or even maybe something about themselves.

I don't know where I was. I don't even think I knew I was gone. But I'm happy to report that I'm back.


1 comment:

Mary said...

GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
will we see you in NC???